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Monday, May 3, 2010

A case for McDonalds...

A case for McDonalds...
or, why you should avoid it like the plague.


Let me just start off by saying that I'm not a food snob.  Back when I lived in the US 12 years ago,  I practically lived off fast food.
So...McDonald's opened up a chain last year in a nearby town, in the big Outlet Center in Tuscany where everyone who is anyone now goes to shop.  It's only a 15 minute drive away from our house.  We've only been three times.  Shocking, I know!!  Who can refuse a fast, cheap foodbomb?  Me, obviously.

Until--

Thursday of last week.

Side: Everything wierd always happens on a Thursday, it's just Karma for planning out your weekends.

Thursday, my huband had a dinner date with his high school class, a sort of reunion, if you will.  That left me and the two preteens at home twiddling our fingers.  What to do?  Why cook for three, when we could cruise to McDonalds instead? 
Daughter ordered a cheeseburger happy meal at the counter, Son and I the Big Mac menu.  Only one Big Mac was sitting in the little chute, so I had to wait for them to specially make mine.  No prob, I start up on the big fries, seeing as how there were loads and man were they salty!!  We waited for 15 minutes.  The girl brings over my big mac, says that the other worker accidentally gave ours to another customer, and she's very sorry (and wall-eyed,  I couldn't help but notice).  Not two minutes later, she returns with another big mac for my son.  Son's eyes bulged, because he never says no to another hamburger, and all the better when it's free, right? 

We divided the free big mac between us, and we ate until we seriously wanted to pop.  While munching on fries, I read aloud to them the calorie content from the back of the tray flier...Can you believe this, guys?  Son had a lightbulb moment there with his mouth full of Big Mac.  I could practically see his brain clicking behind his eyes, as he connected fast food to all those big huge people everywhere  he saw in the states over the summer of 2009. 
So, we waddled out (that's what it felt like on the inside, on the outside we were our usual cool selves) to the car and back home. 

 Friday came and went for me  (The husband suggested I call his mom for some italian folk intestinal remedies, but I said Are you shrink-wrapped?  My innards are none of her business!!).
 
Saturday came and went for me. (Saturday the husband wanted to go to a fair, but it was in the middle of a field with porta pottys, and I was NOT taking my behind into one of those!)

  Sunday dawned and I was desperate. 

I ate three kiwi.  Then I found some raisins in the cupboard, and down the hatch those went too.  No prunes, darn it (why are there never prunes in the house when you need them?).  I massaged my belly.  I did sit ups.  Jumping Jacks.  Rummaging around in the cupboard, I found an herbal tea that promised to "purify" me.  When did I buy this? I wondered, as I kissed the package.  The tea tasted as how I imagine a witch's brew would.  My husband got a whiff of it and said "mmmm! licorice!"  He got the evil eye.  Three tea cups of the brew from hell, sweetened with honey, passed my lips on Sunday evening.

All this to say, that sometimes taking a shortcut (eating out instead of cooking nutritious food at home) turns out to be a pain in the rear. 

Literally.

6 comments:

Ellen said...

I just don't want fast food anymore. I can eat it like when my son wants and In and Out burger but I seriously don't really want fast food. Thank you, thank you....

When I learned how many calories were in some of the high ranking food joints and yes even Starbucks fancy coffee drinks, well that sealed the deal even more for me!

That stuffed, tight feeling is not fun...hope you are feeling back to normal once again....

Queen of Crafts, Current Events, and Such. said...

I hardly ever go to McDs anymore except for a lemonade....
My son in college( a skinny ,in shape 24 year old) had some blood drawn for life insurance and routine tests....His cholesteral was 214...
He goes to Burger King all the time....
So, he stopped his fast food frequency..
Fast Food is gross, but if someone threw me a free Wendys Chicken sand. I wouldnt throw it back.....just sayin

Mariabei said...

Really like your blog. Very witty :D
I've left some comments here and there... love the posts about how you met your husband. I also have an Italian husband!!

Sara Louise said...

I think it was McD's way of saying "if you don't love me, I won't love you!" Evil evil Mcd's! Hope you're feeling better xo

Cathy said...

What an excellent post Tammy. We are lucky that there is only a McDonalds about 30 minutes away and we hardly ever feel tempted. We probably eat too much pizza though!

Que said...

I hate that I missed this last week. That is funny.

I mean... not really.

Yes... really. That's funny!